So my husband and I are leaving the country tomorrow evening and my little bug will not be going with us. I have struggled with the decision to join my husband on this trip since I made it. For a moment yesterday, I sorta worked myself up into a mini panic attack. My mind wandered into a very scary place... what if something happens to him? ... what if he feels abandoned? ... what if something happens to us? ... what if ... what if ... what if ... As I'm sure you can imagine, I began to think about canceling. I wondered how upset my husband would be if I backed out and we lost all of our money. Thankfully, I began to pray and I felt like the Lord spoke to me: "Give me these eight days. I love you and delight in you. I want to show you my land and my people. Give me these eight days. I'll protect your son and his heart but I want to do something in yours. Give me these eight days." This of course calmed me for the moment but I know that this trip will be very difficult for me. Agree with me in prayer as I prepare to leave my little guy behind.
Father, thank you for loving me and for blessing me with a wonderful son. I pray that this separation will have NO negative effect on him. Father, I thank you for protecting him -- guarding him physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I pray Lord that he will not feel abandoned or confused but only loved, loved, loved. Thank you for my family who will certainly take great care of my little man in my absence. Bless them, Lord. Thank you for providing the opportunity for me to take this trip and spend time with You. Help me to set aside any worry, anxiety, fear or doubt; help me to put my complete trust in You and be open to what You want to do in me. Father, I give you these eight days because You've given me so much more! My cup runneth over. To You be honor, glory, and praise forevermore in Jesus' name. Amen!
11.19.2010
11.16.2010
Counting My Blessings
The love for a child is unlike any other love. It is instinctive, innate and self-sacrificing. It really is a love that can not be put into words... even though I'm trying to now. Those of you who have experienced parenthood, know exactly what I mean. Having a child is indeed life-changing but it is also heart-changing. It's hard to understand how something so small and so new can take up so much of your heart.
I grew up never wanting to have children. I always said that IF I ever had them, I would adopt, but that was a BIG IF. It wasn't that I didn't like children, I did. I just didn't have that maternal instinct. Honestly, I think I was a bit selfish too. The idea of giving up myself for someone else was a bit beyond my capability. I liked doing things my way on my schedule. Doesn't everyone?
It was really about control for me. I liked being in control of my life. But if you truly love the Lord, then you come to a place where you allow Him to have control. His desires become your desires. You begin to understand that not only does He know best but He wants the best for you. I reached that place, and I began to pray about children. I asked the Lord to give me the desire for children if it was indeed His will for me to have them. That prayer was answered almost immediately. My husband and I were pregnant before we could blink, and I never once questioned it or worried that I wouldn't be able to handle it. ("I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13) So I have learned a lot in the past seven months not only about babies but about myself, about who I was, who I am, AND who I'm becoming because He isn't finished with me yet. In fact, I think He's only just begun.
Thank you, Father, for molding me, for molding my heart and preparing it for the incredible gift of motherhood. Thank you for a beautiful, healthy and happy baby boy! And thank you, Father, for allowing me to experience this unexplainable kind of love because it helps me better understand Your love for us - each and every one of us.
I grew up never wanting to have children. I always said that IF I ever had them, I would adopt, but that was a BIG IF. It wasn't that I didn't like children, I did. I just didn't have that maternal instinct. Honestly, I think I was a bit selfish too. The idea of giving up myself for someone else was a bit beyond my capability. I liked doing things my way on my schedule. Doesn't everyone?
It was really about control for me. I liked being in control of my life. But if you truly love the Lord, then you come to a place where you allow Him to have control. His desires become your desires. You begin to understand that not only does He know best but He wants the best for you. I reached that place, and I began to pray about children. I asked the Lord to give me the desire for children if it was indeed His will for me to have them. That prayer was answered almost immediately. My husband and I were pregnant before we could blink, and I never once questioned it or worried that I wouldn't be able to handle it. ("I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13) So I have learned a lot in the past seven months not only about babies but about myself, about who I was, who I am, AND who I'm becoming because He isn't finished with me yet. In fact, I think He's only just begun.
Thank you, Father, for molding me, for molding my heart and preparing it for the incredible gift of motherhood. Thank you for a beautiful, healthy and happy baby boy! And thank you, Father, for allowing me to experience this unexplainable kind of love because it helps me better understand Your love for us - each and every one of us.
11.03.2010
11.02.2010
I 'heart' U
I AM NOT A QUITTER! I refuse to give up on this blog. There will always be a million other things that I need to do but this is a need too.
Ok, moving on. Here's a little project that I made for a friend's birthday. I thought you might like to see it. It's a needle-felted birthday birdie. I made the hat a tiny bit too small so I had to glue it on after this photo. But I think it's cute. I hope it made her smile!
For those of you who check in with me from time to time, you've provided some much needed motivation and encouragement. Thank you, and I 'heart' u too!
Ok, moving on. Here's a little project that I made for a friend's birthday. I thought you might like to see it. It's a needle-felted birthday birdie. I made the hat a tiny bit too small so I had to glue it on after this photo. But I think it's cute. I hope it made her smile!
For those of you who check in with me from time to time, you've provided some much needed motivation and encouragement. Thank you, and I 'heart' u too!
10.23.2010
Days Like This
It is a BEAUTIFUL day! My goodness - it's simply gorgeous. The whole family went for a nice walk to start the day off right with a bit of sunshine, a dose of fresh air, and a slightly elevated heart rate. : ) Even Ruthie seemed eager to walk. Normally she zigzags from one side to the other and stops to smell EVERYTHING. Not this morning. She stuck close to Big Bug's side and trotted along with her head high and tongue flapping. It was a nice little romp.
When we got home we opened all the windows and invited the breeze to come in and stay a while. She politely accepted. It's days like today that make me happy to be alive. Growing up I remember my Mom saying that days like this make her want to be a part of the scenery. I know exactly what she means! But what part of the scenery would I be? A great oak with arms raised, a mocking bird singing His praise, or a sunflower blooming in the light of His face? Decisions. . . decisions. What part would you be?
When we got home we opened all the windows and invited the breeze to come in and stay a while. She politely accepted. It's days like today that make me happy to be alive. Growing up I remember my Mom saying that days like this make her want to be a part of the scenery. I know exactly what she means! But what part of the scenery would I be? A great oak with arms raised, a mocking bird singing His praise, or a sunflower blooming in the light of His face? Decisions. . . decisions. What part would you be?
10.21.2010
Happy Accidents
As a crafter, I'm always looking for new project ideas or new artists with their own unique bend. Well, I had just a few minutes last night to roam around on Etsy, and I stumbled upon Gravel Alley Primitives: folk art & folly from the mind of pocomedio. Before I knew it my hubby popped his head in and asked "What are you grinning at?" I don't think he understood my excitement, so I thought I'd share this with you.
In case you don't already know, I have an affinity for the slightly off, somewhat rough, maybe even a little ugly, and positively unique! I always pull for the underdog and believe that there is no such thing as unlovable! So with that in mind, here are a few of Pocomedio's works:
 |
| Frankie |
 |
| Cordelia |
 |
| He Will Mess You Up. |
 |
| Della. She's Mean and Menopausal. |
Pocomedio is a self-described accidental artist. That only makes me love these guys more. You never know what you can do until you do it. Here's to Happy Accidents!
10.20.2010
Coming Off A BIG Week
Last week was a BIG one! My husband and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary, our home appraised for $20K more than it did less than a year ago, our little bug got his first FULL haircut (I've trimmed areas several times), mastered the full roll-over and is now sleeping without a swaddle, I bought my first Blythe, and my dear, well-intentioned hubby outed my blog. Whew!
This week has been busy and I'm finding it hard to make time for blogging. But I'm committed to it. No matter how busy I get, it's important that I take just a few minutes to be me before I'm a wife, mother, employee, etc. We all need a few quiet minutes to think, reflect, remember, dream, wish, hope, you name it. So here's what I've been doing in my few quiet minutes this week:
I'm praying for: Annie and Jade. If you read my post on 10.07.10 then I hope you have been praying too. This week should be Annie's 22nd week of pregnancy. If you read the full story at Annie's blog then you also read that viewing baby Ollie's heart by ultrasound would be best around this time. There is no update yet, but I'm believing for a good report.
I'm meditating on: "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?" Psalm 8:3-4
I'm singing: This isn't a new song but for some reason the fact that He is jealous for me is really speaking to my heart. Oh how He loves us!
Thanks for checking in with me! Be sure to take a few quiet minutes for yourself. : )
This week has been busy and I'm finding it hard to make time for blogging. But I'm committed to it. No matter how busy I get, it's important that I take just a few minutes to be me before I'm a wife, mother, employee, etc. We all need a few quiet minutes to think, reflect, remember, dream, wish, hope, you name it. So here's what I've been doing in my few quiet minutes this week:
I'm praying for: Annie and Jade. If you read my post on 10.07.10 then I hope you have been praying too. This week should be Annie's 22nd week of pregnancy. If you read the full story at Annie's blog then you also read that viewing baby Ollie's heart by ultrasound would be best around this time. There is no update yet, but I'm believing for a good report.
I'm meditating on: "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?" Psalm 8:3-4
I'm singing: This isn't a new song but for some reason the fact that He is jealous for me is really speaking to my heart. Oh how He loves us!
Thanks for checking in with me! Be sure to take a few quiet minutes for yourself. : )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)